I hiked about 10 or so miles today. They were hard miles, both mentally and physically. Today I just couldn’t find my rhythm. I found this strange since I took the entire day off yesterday to rest up. The previous day was really hard and the weather was horrible.
So I’m sorry to report I’m throwing in the towel. There are a number of reasons but the truth is my heart is not in it. I’ve spent the last two days debating in my head what should be the next steps. I labored all day hiking and when you’re not in the game it feels so much more difficult to hike.
I sat down for my lunch break and had the hardest time muscling down a power bar. It seems my body is rejecting this power food. So yes I’m tired of the hiker diet and had I planned it better may have had better food. But my heart is not in it.
Piegan pass almost did me in. The weather started ok but quickly turned worse. Jason and I lost the trail a number of times and walking on snow when you are lost and already tired sucks. I’ve been there before, I hiked the Sierras this way. So why then was this day and trail so much different? Maybe it was the additional scrambling up the mountain without knowing where you are. Maybe it was the blistering 50+ mph winds. Maybe it was the snow, rain and sleet. My heart is not in it.
When I finally came to the realization that I wanted to stop the hiking I immediately felt better. I hiked into Maria Pass and Roaring lion was taking a break. I told him my story and he seem a bit disappointed. I had already made up my mind. Im not quitting for good. I will hike the CDT someday, just not this year. The CDT will have to wait to see monkey.
I went into town again to rest up from the butt kinking on Piegan pass. It was actually a day and a half. I ate town food and felt better. I did a few chores and studied my maps. 6,7 days to Benchmark Ranch I kept saying to myself. I can do this. So I left with another hiker Roaring lion from England.
We got lost getting out of town. Once we finally found the trail Roaring lion blazed ahead of me. He had a gps with the trail marked out. I on the other had did not. So another blow I kept saying to myself. I should have plan and loaded maps and learned how to use these things. But I’d do not, why? Because my heart is just not in it.
I’m not sad, as I will return, but for now I need to head home and regroup.